Catch-Up

Well, friends, it's been a while since I've posted. Let me tell you why:

The end of this semester was CRAZY!! Definitely the most stressful end-of-semester-rush I've ever had. Not only did I have presentations, papers, and beastly take-home finals, I also was getting started with my internship. Less than a day after I had my last assignment in, I saw my first client in internship (it went great! Thanks for asking). Plus I got really, really sick. Plus I wanted to hang out with Malorie (my best friend). Plus I went to Austin for a wedding. Plus I slept. And watched TV. So, I was quite busy. And it was stressful. And I am still stressed with Internship...it's crazy getting started. 

Anyway - less talk, more pictures!!

Sarah and I decided that with our new apartment we would paint our names to put on each of our walls. We bought the letters in October, maybe November. We just painted them Saturday. Yes, that is how busy we both have been. But we finally did it and I LOVE how mine turned out! So if you ever come to my apartment and forget my name, don't worry! It's on the wall!! :)

I mentioned some time back about how we planted some Oregano and we were really excited about it. Well, our little Oregano's are growing so big!! I'm so proud of them! They are so cute!!

We also finally planted more herb-garden-like-stuff the past little while. Basil, parsley, chives, lavendar, forget-me-not, impati..something that looks like impatients, and blue bonnets. Some of them aren't growing as fast as we want them to, but we talk to them everyday to make sure they know they are loved. (Remember how I explained my talking to the Oregano guys? Baby voice, eyebrows furrowed, lips puckered and lower lip sticking out. It's a sure fire method to help little plants grow. Promise! Try it! This method also works with dogs and babies. Not necessarily the growing part, but definitely knowing they are loved part). 

So on Friday I was telling Sarah that Becca had texted her. Only...it came out all wrong. Somehow my brain switched the words and I said, "Oh by the way, did you know Texta Becca-ed you?" And then I started walking away. Then I realized what I said. I cocked my head to the side (you know, like dogs do when they're confused - at least I think they're confused - cause that's what I am when I cock my head to the side) and pulled my eyebrows together. I then proceeded to laugh so hard that I immediately made no sound, other than my typical this-is-so-funny-I-can't-make-any-noise-other-than-a-weird-sounding-wheeze laugh. My face turned red. I buckled over and rested my hands on my knees for support in my fit of laughter. I couldn't support my weight anymore because all my energy was going to laughing, trying to breathe, and trying even more to not wet myself (I didn't by the way - though it was a close call) and collapsed onto the floor. Luckily Sarah was quick on her feet and snapped this gem of a picture while I was dying on the floor. Good times!

Remember? I mentioned a wedding? In Austin? It was my cousin Jeremy's wedding. He married Kit. They are such a cute couple - perfect for each other. So glad we got to go and be a part of such a wonderful weekend! Welcome to the family, Kit! Here they are, cutting their cake. 

We don't see these cousins very often (which is sad since they only live a few hours away). But of course, we took the time to get fun pictures. Here are Sarah and I with Emily. She made a face in the picture we took right before this, so we got her back in this picture. My jaw looks quite disconnected, yes? I owe that weird face to my rather large bottom lip. Yes!

 Here is Sarah with Jennifer. Somehow we didn't manage to get a picture with me in there too, which I am quite sad about. I guess we'll just have to bring Jennifer down from Oklahoma to fix that problem. I really enjoyed getting to spend more time with Jennifer as adults. As kids, with her being so much older than I, we weren't close. But now, I think this weekend laid the groundwork for a good cousin-ship!

Here's Sarah, Katrina, Andie, and I. Sadly, this off-center picture is the last and best of about 10. Sarah is usually very skilled at the self-portrait, but this pose just would not cooperate. Sorry you only have half a face, Sarah!

This one was off too, and I cut Sarah out of it because I knew she would be upset if I left her in. She looked great with her pouty-face, but she doesn't think so. Can't do a day of picture taking without at least one kissy-smirky picture! :)

We were SO SO SO excited that Grandma was able to come down from Utah for the wedding. Thanks so much for travelling with her, Aunt Lori!! This was originally just a picture of Mom and Grandma, but I photobombed them! It turned out quite successfully, I think. Grandma looks like she's glaring at Mom, but I'm sure they're are still on friendly terms. 

Oh goodness, I love my Grandma!!! I'm glad we got a picture together! Normally our pictures are of us sitting down, so it's nice to have a standing one. Now if only we can get Grandma to not complain about taking pictures while the picture is being taken so she'll be smiling! But even though she was talking here, I still think this is a great picture! I might even put it on my wall! Hows that, Grandma? (Oh yeah...speaking of pictures on walls, I still need to get you one, Grandma. I'm working on it, I promise! Sorry it's taken me, oh 2 years to get that to you, but I will soon!) Love you, Grandma!

I'm pretty sure my Mom has the best mother-in-law around. I hope I luck out that much someday. These two have a great relationship and have given me a high standard of what to hope for with my in-laws. Sorry both of your eyes are almost closed! But you both still look fabulous!

This picture of Grandma and Sarah is pretty much the best ever. I think it might be the best picture that was taken all day by our cameras (not better than the real wedding pictures, just the ones on our phones). Sarah needs to put it up in her room! Grandma - you're gorgeous!!!

I still cannot believe my little baby niece is 13. And a half! She is growing up so much (sometimes way more than any of us want or are ready for). But Andie and I are becoming very good friends. Though she gets on our nerves sometimes (like any 13 year old - I sure know I got on people's nerves - I even got on my own nerves quite often!), I look forward to any time I get to spend with her. She's a pretty cool chic. Love you, Andie!

Of course, I have to pull a face while everyone else is smiling. I just wouldn't be me if I didn't. :)

I sure do love my sister! We are so dang cute! Especially in our boots! Yee-haw!!

Yeah, we're cute! And glowing. And awesome. And more fun than you can even handle. It's true, just ask me! 

 I am always impressed by my ability to make faces in a split-second. I saw Sarah point her phone at me and pulled this face with basically no warning! I crack myself up! 

And now that things are less crazy I will be back to blogging on a much more regular basis. YES!

Monday, Monday

Well, Conference weekend is officially over. Tonight I'm going to download all the talks to my iPod so I can listen to them on my 40-minute-each-way commute. I'm pretty excited about that.

I had planned on posting something last night, but then my sister and I had some friends over for dinner. They just got back from visiting Australia for two weeks. We missed them a lot and are glad they are home safely! I made authentic Navajo Fry Bread, which I learned how to make from a dear friend in Florida, Sis LaFontaine. She's a full-blooded Navajo and has been making fry bread since she was 4 years old or something. I don't make it nearly as well, in fact, I used the KitchenAid to mix the dough, which is probably a sin. But each time I make it, I get a little better. The first time I attempted fry bread, each one was only barely bigger than the palm of my hand and shaped all weird. This time, some were still a little smaller than I would have liked, but some were big and fat, almost like she makes them. One ended up looking like a butterfly...not really sure how that happened, but whatever. It was delicious! Thanks, Sis LaFontaine, for teaching me to make Fry Bread and for being such a great friend and example of selfless, Christlike service!

After dinner, I still planned on writing, but then my sister turned on Holmes Inspection. Oh. Great. Day. That show makes me so terrified to ever buy a house. I think I'll get like 5 inspections done before I ever buy a house. Then someday if I am ever able to build a house, I will tell them, "Use that blue wood that doesnt mold and that purple foam spray stuff and that membrane junk around the foundation to keep out water." I like to use technical terms like that. I'm pretty smart. :) But seriously, that show makes me never want to live in a house, or an apartment... but then I remember living outside wouldn't be any better. Ew. I think I get freaked out by gross things way too easily.

Then I realized I had a ton of homework to do including reading about 100 pages of a book on how to get past affairs. I think I have decided that while I definitely want to work with couples, and inevitably there will be some who have had affairs, I definitely do not want to specialize in affairs. I'm glad there are people who do that, but I don't think it's my cup of tea. Which is good, since I don't drink tea.

So now, on Monday morning before heading to campus, I am finally getting to the blog. I even wrote it in planner of things to do today. I have a busy week ahead of me, and with the experiment, I need to make sure I make time for blogging.

Which brings me to the point of all of this. I hate Mondays. Especially Mondays like today when I have an insane amount of homework to do this week and I woke up 45 minutes before my alarm. That was annoying. I toss and turn all night long and I woke myself up because I was all tangled in my sheets and untangling myself took enough energy and brain power that I couldn't fall back asleep. Does that ever happen to anyone else? I'm still mad about it! This week I have to present a journal article on solution focused therapy, write a 10-15 page paper on emotionally focused couples therapy, research and prepare a presentation on Asperger's Syndrome, and read for classes. EW! I'm a little worried.

It's times like these when I wish I wasn't still in school. Right now, I would so much rather:

Play French Horn in a symphony. I used to dream of playing with the Orchestra at Temple Square. Or being in the pit for Broadway musicals. Or be in orchestras used for movie soundtracks. Right now, I'd even settle for having a French Horn at all. I have a mouth piece. And a practice mute. And lots of music. But no horn. Anyone wanna buy me one? The ones I want are only like $4,000... I miss French Horn so much sometimes that it hurts. I think after I graduate and have a job, it'll be the first big purchase I make. And let me tell ya, I can't wait.

Be a book critic. I love reading. More than I can even express. I think the thing I hate most about being in school is that during the semester, I barely have time to read. I love all kinds of books. I love it when I'm reading and the rest of the world falls away. I become so engrossed in the story that I become the characters in my mind. I feel what they feel and want what they want. A whole new world opens up with each book I read and I get to experience so many things I could never experience on my own. I could go on and on about how much I love reading. Eventually I'll get that booklist tab finished and share more with you all about my love of books. But wouldn't it be great to get paid to read?

Be independently wealthy and travel the world. I think today would be a great day to visit the pyramids in Egypt. Or walk along the Great Wall of China. Or swim in the Great Barrier Reef. Or visit the Louvre. Or take a cruise to Alaska and walk on a glacier. Or bungee jump in New Zealand. Or ice fish in Denmark. Or see the world's tallest building in Dubai. Or canoe down the Amazon. The list could go on and on.... I think I need more money and vacation.

But unfortunately, I can't do any of those things today. Instead, I'll drive to campus in the rain, file some stuff and enter data for work, do some research, go to class, drive home, and do more research. And I'll do it with a smile on my face. Cause I know I am doing what I'm supposed to at this point in my life. I love learning how to be a therapist. And oddly, I do like school. And even though I can't do all those things I want to, I can dream about them. And that's enough.

Happy Monday, all!

Here I am with my head in the clouds! (Actually this was taken last summer while rafting in Island Park, Idaho. Best second home ever!)

And So It Begins...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

(deep breath, Rachel...)

I just finished my second week of grad school.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I'm still trying to decide which emotion those two screams are supposed to be portraying. There are just too many emotions floating around my head and heart that I don't really know how to make sense of it all.

FREAKED OUT.

Oh my great day. What on earth do I think I'm doing in grad school? Do I even like school? Do I even have the motivation to make myself do well? When I graduate in two short years, people's happiness is going to be affected by me. I want to do couple's therapy. So, marriages and families will be at least somewhat dependent on me and what I say and do. AHH! That is a lot of responsibility to place on yourself when your natural tendency is to be really, really lazy. :/ Not to mention that I'm already behind in my reading, I haven't started researching for my class, I am slightly behind on my TA job because I can't figure things out... and I could make the list go on. So, this emotion could also read: OVERWHELMED.

EXCITED.

Oh my great day. I've wanted to be a marriage therapist for almost 4 years (and probably much longer than that, but I didn't realize it til then) and here I am finally getting started to pursuing my dream. And I'm in a new place, in a ward with way more cute, good guys in it than my last ward at BYU, living with my sister, seeing my best friend and her baby every week, going out with the sister missionaries regularly, and again...the list could go on.

RELIEVED.

Oh my great day. I never have to worry about applying to a school again. I'm here. I'm doing it. Things haven't blown up in my face yet. I'm getting to know people in my program and as far as I know, they don't think I'm crazy. (though, we'll be getting to know each other quite well...I'm sure soon they'll know I'm crazy). My loans finally came through so my tuition is paid and I have a parking pass. Still need to get an ID. But things are progressing. I'm going to be okay.

WONDERING ABOUT THE UNKNOWN.

Oh my great day. Have you heard the drama about the apartment? Well, not that there's horrible drama, Sarah and I just have NO IDEA where to live. We signed applications to a complex in the ideal area, but not the ideal apartment itself. Then we got home and there might be some available at Sarah's complex that she already loves. Oh yeah, and there's the one that we would sign at in a heart beat, but it's by the Galleria. That equals traffic from hell. The deepest and darkest pits of hell. So even though we'd love to go there, we really don't want to drive there. Then there's the unknown about what my future holds. Lets be honest, there are less LDS men here in Houston than in Provo. What if I don't find someone here? Will I be single forever? Or if I do find someone, how on earth will I fit dating into my already-busy-after-only-two-weeks schedule? Then if I get married, what do I do about working/having babies? Oh geez... emotions are going back into the overwhelmed area... I hate the unknown. It totally freaks me out! I guess life would be pretty dang boring if I knew everything, but ahh! I'm freaked.

MISSING PEOPLE.

Oh my great day. I miss my friends in Utah. Amanda. Melanie (though she's not in Utah). Justine. Cameron. Everyone else at the coding lab or the Dean's Office. Kayla. McKenzie. Todd. Michelle. Rachel and Ned. Alissa. Jessica. Shiree. Again, the list could go on. I thought I'd be okay leaving them all behind, and in most ways I am, but dang! I miss them! And although I'm excited to make new friends, I kinda just want to keep the ones I have and not have to worry about making more. And I miss my brother, Michael (who knew!). I hate goodbyes and I had to make a lot of them all at once. Boo. I'm never moving again.

Tired.

Oh my great day. I'm sooo tired. I've been on campus today for almost 12 hours and still have just over an hour to go. Chronic fatigue from two illnesses + grad school...doesn't work quite as well as I thought it would. I'm tired. And I have this feeling that I'm gonna be tired for the next two years (at least!).

Confident.

Oh my great day. I can do this! We had our first role play in psychotherapy skills yesterday. I was so nervous. We were supposed to be practicing attending skills (which I think I'm pretty good at) and reflective statements (which I pretty much suck at). We broke up into groups and I was the last one to be the therapist. (No, I didn't do it on purpose). But I got to see two other people do it first and hear all their feedback before it was my turn. I credit my success to that. But it wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting! We were only supposed to ask four questions in 10 minutes, and I only asked 4! I always ask questions! But somehow I did it and I feel much more confident than I did two days ago. Not overly confident. Just confident enough to push myself to get a lot better. Because I'm not quite as freaked out as before. This is good! I think I can handle being a therapist. (Watch me feel the complete opposite next week...).

But most of my confidence is coming from the fact that I know without a doubt that this is what Heavenly Father wants me be doing with my life right now. And if He wants it, it's gonna happen! I just need to keep putting Him first and trusting in Him, and everything is going to work out just fine. I am so grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost which I feel will definitely be helping me as I try to help the children of Heavenly Father find more joy and happiness in their marriages and families. I'm grateful for the comfort God gives me when I'm stressed and overwhelmed. There is nothing I can't do with Him at my side. And I know that as long as I keep doing what He has asked of me, He will be there every step of the way. And that gives me a lot of confidence.